R.I.P. The Reluctant Stylista

It's nothing new, a blogger leaving a virtual obituary for her old blog, more or less citing the reasons why she's leaving it or why she went into hiatus. But this is often as an explanation to avid readers they feel they disappointed somehow. This is nothing like that; I write this mostly for myself. I may have had a bit of a following but I also felt they were weirdly disconnected to me (I hung out with other bloggers, okay, so I know they get readers who always reach out to them online and off. Whereas I get the occasional DM saying they saw me somewhere but didn't get to say hi/wasn't sure if it was me/etc). As of this writing, I am 90% sure no one even knows the existence of this yet or that I started blogging again.

So why do I feel like I have to write this out when I don't really owe anyone an explanation? Closure, I guess. I worked hard on that blog from scratch, with the help of some old friends who coded and illustrated for me. It opened doors, gave me opportunities. I won awards for it. Blogging wasn't quite the economy it is now, and I had started it in hopes of empowering my female friends by sharing the joys of cosmetics and skincare and documenting my career transition into fashion styling. I never quite got the habit of updating regularly, though, even when it gained a bit of traction following my wins at The Philippine Blog Awards. Plus, I had pretty good SEO that it was getting a lot of hits for months even without new content. I half-heartedly entertained sponsored posts on the side and I was getting a barrage of press kits every week despite this. It got old, after a while, and this is a familiar tune for any blogger who got burnt out - but that wasn't what killed The Reluctant Stylista.

As I got older, my priorities inevitably shifted. I started drifting away from what seemed like an endless chase for things that didn't last. Fashion, in particular, which was both hobby and job, was just something that I couldn't enjoy in the same way anymore. I'm still a stylist, it's still my job to shop for clients and maintain my styling wardrobe, but I just don't feel the same joy and excitement when I first started out. Just to be clear, though, I don't actually believe everyone has to love their livelihood if it gets you the necessities - and that's how it's operating for me right now. But - to talk or blog about things that don't matter to me as much anymore? That's a different story altogether. (Honestly, I would warn you against this lifestyle if I could. And it would be a bit weird for a fashion blog to start churning out content of that sort.)

I still believe in why I started that blog. I felt that a lot of women around me didn't have enough confidence when there was absolutely no reason not to be; and they didn't see the value in caring for themselves a bit. I'm still that person who enjoys dressing up for the ocassion and I still think mascara can go a long way in making your day. But I think these are realizations I've enjoyed in my 20s. There are other things ahead now, new avenues to explore. It's time I've laid this down to rest.

So for the very last time, this is The Reluctant Stylista (2010-2016), signing out.